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Smoothing the start of the school year
By Betsy Brown Braun
August…three, four, even five more weeks of summer vacation depending
upon your child’s first day of school. Summer time and the livin’ is
Even though the consistent, routinized school year
schedule actually makes life easier for most children and parents,
getting back into the swing of things can be a real challenge. There
are so many adjustments to be made from the more carefree summer life to
the hurry-up-we’re-going-to-be-late-school year.
transition from summer to the school year, done gradually and
purposefully before school actually starts, will go a long way towards
smoothing that transition.
Here are some tips for starting the school year off smoothly:
your attitude. Not all children are excited about the start of school,
but a positive attitude can be contagious. Instead of saying things
like, “Your teacher won’t allow that kind of behavior in school” try
being positive by saying, “I know your teacher will be so excited to
hear all about our trip to the mountains.” Help the older child get
fired up about what he might learn this school year. “This is the year
that you get to study astronomy. I can’t wait for you to teach me about
- Introduce your child’s school night bedtime before school
starts. School age children need 9 to 11 hours of sleep, and while they
get that during the summer, it usually starts later than is good for a
school night. Seven days before the start of school, begin bedtime 15
minutes earlier. Each night take it back a few more minutes, until you
get to the desired bed time. Children should awaken naturally in the
morning if they are getting enough sleep.
- Introduce your school night
routine at the same time, a full week before the actual start of
school. While you may have allowed TV or tech time before bed in the
summer, it may not be a great way to get your child calm and ready for
bed on a school night. Go back to your routine of bath/shower, books,
and tuck time. Get back to your low key rituals that include an intimate
bed time chat, downloading his day.
- Adjust your morning routine. A
week before school begins, introduce the school morning routine. A sure
fire way to start the morning out right—without fights about clothing
and the like—is to follow this schedule:
- Snuggle time (Hopefully even your older kids still crave it!)
- Get dressed (Beginning at 4 years old, children choose their own clothing, hopefully laying them out the night before.)
breakfast, but only after he is fully dressed. (If you are worried that
he will get his school clothes dirty, throw on one of your old tee
shirts over his clothes.)
- Brush teeth
- Bonus time! (A few minutes on the computer, a quick game of Uno!)
and make ready a homework place. For even the most reluctant child,
there’s nothing quite like new school supplies. (Remember?!) After you
have shopped with your child, decide with him where he will do his
homework. Not only should he have his notebook supplies, but also he can
feather his homework nest. The more involved he is, the more willing he
will be to settle down and get to work.
When the school year begins…
routines. Whether it’s the way your child helps you make lunches, when
and where he does his homework, or when he does his chores, routines
help a child to stay on track.
- Have rules. Each family will have a
different idea about TV during the week, computer and tech time, etc.
Have a family meeting to discuss your ideas. Be sure to solicit your
child’s opinion, and compromise where you can. Children who are involved
in the rule-making are more likely to stick to them.
- Do as much as
you can do the night before. Help your child lay out his clothes (if
necessary); set the table for breakfast; make the lunches; put the
grounds in the coffee maker; put trip slips, backpacks, and anything
that needs to go to school by the exit door.
- Set your own alarm
clock earlier. I know you’ll hate this one, and I am sorry. But hurrying
is the enemy of children. Set your alarm clock 10 minutes earlier than
you think you need. If you are not rushed, you will be more relaxed
with your child. You will be just that much more available to your
child, and he won’t need to act out to get your attention. A chaotic,
hurried atmosphere doesn’t make for a great school day send off.
your family’s prep time. However long you think it will take everyone
to get ready for school…double it! If there is extra time, spend it
doing something fun, even unexpected with your child. It will help to
start his day off happily, and it is much better than rushing him.
breakfast together. Spending a little quality time at the breakfast
table together (not reading the paper, not checking email, not focusing
on the food that is or isn’t being eaten!), goes a long way toward
filling your child’s tank. His moments with you will stay with him
throughout his whole day, reminding him that he belongs to a family who
Betsy Brown Braun, best-selling author of the award
winning Just Tell Me What to Say: Sensible Tips and Scripts for
Perplexed Parents (HarperCollins), is a child development and behavior
specialist, parent educator, multiple birth parenting consultant and
founder of Parenting Pathways, Inc. She is also the mom of adult
triplets and is an occasional guest columnist for The Online Mom.
Comment by Liz Martin, posted 8/11/2010, 2:53 PM:
Great advice! I have 4 kids and getting them ready for 3 different schools is a military operation. Anything that we can do ahead of time to smooth the transition has got to help. (Love the snuggle time suggestion, but I think my 16-year-old son might object!)