HOME TECH TRENDS ONLINE SAFETY SOCIAL NETWORKING APP COLLECTIONS HOW-TO THE ONLINE MOM BLOG ARCHIVE EN ESPAÑOL
Technology A-Z
 
The Internet
 
Tech Hardware
 
Tech Software
 
Video Games
 
Protecting Your Children
 
FAQs
 
Getting Help
 
The Online Mom Network
 


Learn about The Online Mom Network
Join The Online Mom Network
How Do I Become An Online Mom?


The Online Mom provides internet technology advice and information to help parents protect their kids, encourage responsible behavior and safely harness the power of technology in the new digital world. Social networking, photo sharing, video games, IM & texting, internet security, cyberbullying, educational resources, the latest on tech hardware, gadgets and software for kids 3-8, tweens and teens, and more.

Think Before You Post: The Impact of Over-Sharing



By Stacey Ross:

We all have done it at least once. No, I’m not talking about prank calls. I am referring to posting something online we later ended up regretting, otherwise known as over-sharing or TMI (too much information!).

Social media platforms such as Twitter, Facebook and Google+, referred to as “the world’s virtual campfire” have become common meeting grounds for millions. Due to their easy accessibility, magnetic appeal, and explosive popularity, they beckon us not only as stellar tools for building valuable connections, but also to shed light on the reality that “what is said here, is spread here,” which has its pros and cons.

In 2011, The New York Times commissioned a research study called the Psychology of Sharing to examine how and why people share through social media. Seventy-three percent claimed that they process information more deeply and thoughtfully when they share it, and 68% claimed they share to give people a better sense of who they are. How much of that falls under the “you are getting carried away” umbrella is very subjective, though.

As part of some (unscientific) research I did with a local psychologist for several publications, I interviewed and collected data from approximately a hundred people who considered themselves avid online enthusiasts, and who devoted at least a couple hours a day to social media platforms like Twitter and Facebook.  My questions centered around how well they looked out for their own well-being, given that they spent so much time online.

I found that many began to grow a strong comfort zone with their “digital selves,” so much so that they gradually became more and more open about their personal lives. I will never forget witnessing on Twitter the play-by-play events of a mom before and after her child was severely injured in her presence; the tweets of an avid Twitter user, whose day started bright but ended in her toddler's death; and a suicidal woman who reached out for help via Facebook.

I spoke with a girl who helped a grieving dad, whose own daughter was killed after she revealed her address to an online stranger. I regularly see details of people's private lives that reveal the names and ages of their kids, their address, where they bank (good ol' Foursquare), and when they typically leave their houses vacant. Crucial in engaging in social media is coming to grips with the reality that our online personas tend to grow lives of their own, warranting come precaution.

Some of my interviewees' self-reflection of the concept of “over sharing” indicated they were comfortable with the boundaries they had set, while others confessed that they had exposed more information about themselves than they should have, leaving themselves vulnerable. Those that felt this way did so because they, or someone they knew, had been hurt because of something they had shared online.

A few of the folks I interviewed were willing to have others gain from the lessons they learned:

Jenn: “Know your intentions!”

Web developer, Jenn, regrets taking the online plunge without having a solid plan.

“I genuinely come from a place of wanting to help people, and that led me to becoming too soft with my networking pals and online friends as far as how much I charged them. It really came down to valuing myself and my work. It took a bit of time, but I came to realize that I needed to be conscious about how to distinguish my social life from my professional life, because I was way too cheap, and that attracted people who were just not ideal clients! I soon learned what earned media was, and I got smart!”

Karen: “Guard your heart.”

Actress, Karen, learned about building friendships the hard way.

“My work involves having a public persona and in some instances that online status is the basis of what can genuinely feel like a tight friendship. I ultimately became devastated by a few members in my actors' guild whom I thought I had grown a strong relationship and trust level with, both in their company and on a personal level. Turns out I was a friend of convenience for them to gain attention, and that was their primary motivation for such engagement. Being unsure about my authenticity led me to question my naivety.”

Krystal: “We need to have a conversation about discretion.”

Krystal, a college freshman at an esteemed Southern California university, offered the following:

“It’s as if the girls are marketing themselves and they are not even in the field of marketing. They update their status, feel compelled to share their new outfits, and flaunt their BFFs.”

“I have found that at my university so many of my colleagues are compelled to update their Facebook accounts daily and they write posts that resemble  intimate diaries! I don't understand why it’s important for so many to post their love life status, bathroom mirror poses, or an announcement of where they are all the time. When did this become so necessary to broadcast to the masses? Honestly, I am bewildered by how absurd some of this gets!”

Chuck: “Establish a communications protocol.”

An international software engineer, Chuck, was kind enough to go into detail about the problems he faced at work.

“I work about 80-90% remotely, so my team and I are reliant upon a lot of telecommuting and emailing or texting. The dynamics of shifting to a remote model was something that I had to adapt to and, when push came to shove, we were just not communicating effectively!”

“People assign meaning to a message according to their cultural context (physical cues, environmental stimuli, etiquette, etc.), and things can get chaotic if impressions are not aligned with intentions. While I had always thought of myself as flexible and a very easy going guy, I grew to find that our different cultural approaches towards communication were dividing us as a team. As leader, I needed to implement a fair and realistic plan that would work for everyone. I was told to close shop for a couple weeks and take a cultural training course. I did so, and returned a much more effective leader!

Deanna: “Remember, eyes are on you!”

“One of my mom friends in Jersey would check in on Foursquare everywhere she went and would even post her location on Facebook. She had a few hundred followers and did not consider anything she posted as something that would ever pose a problem. She would post her kids'  first day of school photos and all sorts of images of her daily life.

Come winter, she flaunted her Christmas tree and all of the gifts under it, as well as her Christmas decorations in the front of her house. The perfect cocktail for disaster is posting a photo of your house exterior, including the address and the kids standing in front of it. Oh, and an announcement that your family is going on a week’s ski trip! Fast forward – they returned to a vacant home!”

Helen: “Remember, your privacy is pretty much forfeited.”

“I had it coming,” said Helen, a thirty-something single professional and social butterfly. “I told my co-workers that I was not feeling well and was going to stay home the evening of an office event that is a biggie for our business and that I should have attended. Actually, I was not so sick that I couldn’t attend a fundraising gala across town instead, and many of my co-workers caught wind of my indiscretion. Never underestimate the power of the post. The next morning, my photo was not only on the front page of a very popular website , but it was tagged and went viral! The Internet can help keep you honest, but in my case, I missed that mark and had to deal with the consequences!”

My take-home from all of my interviews is simple and intuitive: Before we invest too much time in our online world, we would be wise to take caution, exercise discretion, and explore the value and implications of what we post, even if we think it is only to our 300 “closest friends.”

Stacey Ross is an online consultant, social media enthusiast, freelancer and owner of SanDiegoBargainMama.com. A former teacher and middle school counselor, she is now a mom of two who researches and freelances about lifestyle topics involving family and well-being.



Permalink | Print | Email

Share this article!
Partner with Online Mom Media
Online Mom Media specializes in building powerful communities of influencers! [read on]
Special Twitter Event
Join @theonlinemom this Thursday at 9pm ET as we introduce Thrively, a fun and interactive family web site! #Thrively
[read on]
Join the BUZZ!
Join @theonlinemom and friends this Friday at 12 noon PT as we look at Simplifying Mobile Tech. Great prizes! #VZWBuzz [read on]
The Online Mom Blog
Connecting Your Mobile Lifestyle
[read on]
Cómo encontrar en línea las mejores ofertas
Visite La Online Mom en Español! [read on]
Stacey Ross on The Online Mom
Catch up on the digital lifestyle with Stacey Ross!
[read on]
PlayStation 4 vs. Xbox One: Parental Controls
Which of the new gaming consoles offers better parental supervision? [read on]
How To Make the Most of Those Daily Deals
Take a closer look at those daily deals to make sure you're getting a bargain!
[read on]
Watch Out! Your Wristband Is Tracking You…
New ways to monitor two of the most important elements that factor into our overall health: exercise and sleep [read on]
How To Beat Spam with Disposable E-Mail Addresses
There's an alternative to giving out your online information (or turning into a digital recluse): the disposable e-mail!
[read on]
Managing Your Online Reputation
There are some simple steps we can take to safeguard our online reputations [read on]
7 Apps for Finding Stuff Online
Loking to buy and sell online? Your smartphone can help!
[read on]
How to Manage Your Cell Phone Bill
Don't be overwhelmed by that cell phone bill. We offer 7 tips that can help [read on]
7 Social Networking Tips for Graduates
About to graduate? It's time to clean up those social networking accounts!
[read on]
The Best Apps for Staying in Shape
10 great apps for turning your smartphone or tablet into your workout buddy! [read on]
7 Steps to Smartphone Safety
Buying that first smartphone for your child? Make safety a top priority!
[read on]
10 Essential Apps for the Busy Mom
Turn your smartphone into your very own personal assistant! [read on]
Tweens and Facebook:
Do you think children under the age of 13 should be allowed on Facebook?

Yes
No
Not Sure




© 2011 the online mom, all rights reserved | site map ABOUT     MEET THE TEAM     CONTACT US     ADVERTISE     PRESS     PRIVACY     LEGAL
As you may have guessed, it is made of titanium and some stainless steel¡ªthe case is titanium and the rolex replica sale is stainless steel. The dial is brown, the watch hands are silver-toned, and there is a date window at the four o¡¯clock position. The sapphire case protects the breitling replica sale from water damage up to 30 meters. Synergy means cooperative action. This replica watches uk combines the best of the old and the new to deliver something uniquely modern. All of the classic elements are there. It has the sleek and stylish dial of the replica watches uk, the concave dot at the 12 o¡¯clock hour, and the Swiss quartz movement. But the Sapphire Synergy has something few breitling replica sale offer, a rubber wristband. Why rubber? Well, it¡¯s not a sport rolex replica sale, so using it outdoors is out of the question. But the informal band gives it a more casual look and feel, which can be quite appealing to the modern male.