The Six Most Annoying 'Friends' On Facebook
By Harper Kelly
The constant-pun guy. The always-partying girl. Your best friend's dog. If you're like most people, you've got a lot of Facebook ‘friends’ that you wouldn't want to spend much time with in real life. Do you have any of these six annoying Facebook types cluttering up your friends list?
It's annoying to run into people who believe that dragons once existed, leprechauns are real, and Bigfoot is everywhere. But even worse than a Facebook friend who believes in everything is one who doesn't believe in anything. The Skeptic always comments to dispute every update; he’s the one who can see the ‘hidden trick’ in every video clip; and the one who can't stand to let anyone else have any fun!
“On my third cup of coffee already!” “Having a muffin for breakfast.” “On my way to the store.” The Chronicler believes that every minute of his day is interesting – or somehow worthy of remembering. So he shares all those moments with inane status updates that waste your time, but apparently not his. Thanks to faster Internet speeds, the Chronicler can share everything he does all the time.
Click this link for a new poem. Click this link to follow me on Twitter. Check out what I wrote in my blog today – click this link! The Advertiser has something to promote, so he promotes it. Constantly. There are few things more annoying than someone who only posts to promote his own agenda.
“Why does this kind of stuff keep happening to me?” “Having another one of those days.” “Don't feel like getting out of bed.” The Whiner posts on Facebook only when she is feeling sad – which is all the time. She’s constantly complaining and seemingly in need of endless amounts of sympathy. Whiners are like stray cats. Feed them sympathy once and they'll expect it from you all the time.
The Obsessed Mommy
A profile pic of a newborn baby? Check. A bunch of "likes" for organic onesies, biodegradable diapers and natural baby food? Check. An endless stream of mobile uploads that feature the baby laughing, the baby crying, the baby discovering the mirror? Check. That’s right, you've got an Obsessed Mommy on your friends list! She's in love with being a mommy, and she's sharing it with the world. Just wait a few months, and hopefully the Obsessed Mommy will level out into normal motherhood.
The Wannabe Model
Most people change their profile pictures less than 12 times a year. The Wannabe Model might change hers 12 times a day. The Wannabe Model is always taking pictures of herself, practicing different poses and different expressions. It's not at all uncommon to see the Wannabe Model in a state of undress in these pictures, which looks just lovely if your kids of family members happen to see your Facebook feed.
There are many annoying types of Facebook friends, and chances are really good that you've got some of them on your feed. If you can learn to laugh at them as well as with them, they won't seem quite so annoying anymore.
Harper Kelly is a Florida native hung up on all things social media, writing, and running. When she’s not scoping out the new trails in Tampa, you can find her browsing the web and writing about technology, travel and food. Join her on high-speed internet and follow her journey on Twitter @harperkellyh.